awful vision

today i had a dream. i dont know if its a game of satan or a path of god.

i was looking forth. everybody was laughing at this one person. i held a blanket. i wanted to wrap the fear on the blanket. for this person. it was so sympathetic. she turned away. i brought her inside. we looked out the window. those people who laughed at her, somehow got hypnotized or something. jumping themselves down the roof. it was horrible. it was a nightmare. it was like a vast rain of suicidal act. i was terrified and traumatized.

woke up. its 7 am. still time for subuh. syuruk's 7.30am. got up, take wudu', perform my daily duty. held my hands up forth, seeking tranquility.

tempted by the pretty ugly bed. it was cold. beaten by my lust of cautious. went to sleep. and another nightmare.

my father died. Astaghfirullah. i was crying like hell. everybody was sadden by this. my brother reached me. hug me. i went home. finding my path. i felt so lost. i felt so dimmed. performed my prayer. what is this feeling? the feeling of a fatherless poor little boy. i saw orphans crying. people trying to cheer me up. i left them out. and then i woke up.

it was 10am. Astaghfirullah, Thank God. it was a dream. He gave me a lesson again. if thats the feeling of the people that have no fathers and mothers, then i should be thankful for what i have. always. and one thing. i dont have anything to give in turn for my beloved parents, but please God, accept my prayer and do'a as i am only your weak servant.

and umm yeah, dont sleep after subuh =X