Rindu

I had an illness today.
my body's temperature kept rising
and rising
and rising
i looked out the window
its still bright like a dimmed willow
i kept holding on to myself
am i infected or deteriorated
by a subconscious mind outdated
from time being im fading away
so stop the lash that hurts within
my heart which are telling me
the truth of the lies foresee

im missing mommy already
im missing friendzy already
im kicking my head already
to shoot my brain off the sky
to say from whom im not the knot
knock me up like u said inside
im willing to say that im not
ill say that i cannot
to push myself further for one more time

hey stop looking back
above the shoulder of your guts
all the dreams are shattered on the sky
its not your fault or mine
its just the time that kept it right
to be the way it is for sure
but u can change it if u want
for i know that u'll say not
so stop bringing yourself down
and start seeding your lawn
to make it grow like u want
so that u can reach the sky
up above so high

i want to go home
the way i came from
the way i marched
the route i crunched
as i said that i was the one
to do things so right
choosing the needs over the wants
and u better stop the grunts
cuz i know this is the night
that pulls the trigger of the might
and i shall see the light
that came from the brightside

i never want to come here
but i dont want to stay back
to cry for freedom of the lack
of my unconcsious self inside
that says, "hey dont u lie"

i miss my family so bad.the end