Last week i wanted to watch a movie with some mateys and at the same time i wanted to fetch my other pals to their cribs. And last month i wanted to watch a gig of my good old friends' band and at the same time, my other pals set up a reunion at the mall. if its family business, ill skip everything i stated there and go for some family business babeyh. but then again, u cant really decide when your pals keep creeping on your inbox and sent out words like, "if u dont come ill bite ur ass off!! haha" or an emo one like ,"i tot we were old friends....lets meet up XD!". that's pure lolness.and pathetic too. well i kinda sound like i hated these guys so badly. as a matter of fact, i dont. no really. i love them. thats why i hope i can please everyone's side. as in. everyone. well that doesnt make sense.
Sometimes i feel like building a clone factory and produce like a hundred of asyraf and make the world a living hell. It is odd for me that some people have this urge-ness to spend times with everybody that they wish they could. But the truth is that they can't just do that. It is just impossible to please everyone at the same time. You can't go to a dinner date and at the same time, go to the movies with your pals. Well, unless you can split your soul in two, let the world go round and do that until it stops spinning.
I figured that priority is like a man of machines. or cyborgs. you know, the one that terminates people with priority given on certain targets. the one with the funny skull-like head and everything. well life isnt like that though. i wish it was. if it is, then life would be so rigid that people would act like they are brain-dead. following priorities all the time like nerdy kids or fancy knights. maybe its time step up into another dimension where people should think that priority is like a manufacturing factory. you know, keep producing actions and never lost with words. then people would have high goals. and big priority. then we could please everybody.maybe not at the same time.but certainly in many times.
Well, having to think twice, maybe this is not about pleasing everyone isnt it, or maybe it is.who knows.perhaps its more of a "ill be in your needs like you'll be in mine" kinda thing. or its like a tolerance-ness process of give and take. ahh i dunno.i just wanna live long and get some gruesome moments with these guys.uh!
hey
heyhey i kinda created my own flickr.er do watch if u must.(ha?) anyway its http://www.flickr.com/photos/4syr4f/ and umm i'm still a noob okay?
glance ahead
you know that pertinently, i choose not to let my guard down. and yet life without things to aim seems horrific in a certain perspective. as in, holidays. imagine two weeks of holiday. that's fine. how about 4 months. yeap, i said 4 months. i can bear 4 months of school because i was actually assigned to do works. professors and peeps around me keep throwing rocks at me asking me not to stop working. well, not literally. u of t never forced me to do works. they just simply ask nicely. "if you are thinkin' of gettin' good marks, then ya better do works. but that is 'if' u want. we're not forcing or anything". This statement annoys me alot. not that because the peeps are really annoying by spilling words onto us, but because of my mind that starts to build a list of tasks that i have and need to do just to get a good marks. well yea of course i worked alot. but i guess its not alot enough to 'build-up' a good marks. future yet reminds me how insecure is the freedom of my mind to choose 'things' wisely. i hate to consider the fact that my stomach is not resistive enough to immune itself when i ate alot of joy, and fun. i got carried away. alot. its like momentum you see. once you're good at studying. don't stop yet. cuz if you stop once, man its hard to get back up again.
have you ever felt empty? not that as in the emptyness of soul. duh. as in empty of which you have no goals. at least not yet. like having finished exams. man it sure fun if exams are finished. but at the end of the day, as every exams are at the back of our shoulders, we'll start glancing. and thinking. "ok what's next?". its like the dullness of your side has awaken or something. i dont know. maybe its because of getting away with your fellow mateys. or enhancing yourself towards total freedom which extends to the limit of not having to realize the fact that you do not have anything to do.
i have an idea. you know what. let's finish strong. but to do that, pick a good starter point. like doing things that benefit the issues of your lives. like a anti-timewaster or something. you know, its really hard not to waste time, especially if you are a 'belia'.that's right. i said it. 'belia' is a cool term to refer to teenagers today. haha. or maybe late teenagers. or whatever you call it. i prefer to nudge myself ahead with plans. you know, things to do. like doing a mental roadmap on great things. like a checkbox tasks. do laundry, or do eating(love this one). or something. i dont really have a specific point. we can figure it out later. but for now, let's just glance ahead. forge some fine mindmaking skill. and maybe we can look back sometimes. who knows we'll find something great to use up ahead.
p/s: i'm actually 'sick'. yeap. i think its a 'flu'. whatever. i prefer to call it 'lazy' flu. sigh. let the pressure begins!
busy
yep.life has been busy. my final design spesification is due on thursday and thank god its on track. and study. uhh. i need to adjust my brain to work like a machine or something. cuz i'm like, hell wayyy behind my study schedule.okay2. goodbye loafing-around. goodbye playing-dota-nonstop-on-weekends. goodbye procrastinating moments. argh. whatever.
p/s: i bought you an ipod for your cool results on pmr sisters! hope ya like it. anddd uhh..i only bought one. since one of you are sticking in boarding school. so one of you wouldnt use it that much right. besides, i always saw you two sharing the iriver clix everytime ur listening to those korean girls thingy.hahax.oh yeah.congratz again! XD
looking over the shoulder
pernah tak rasa kehilangan masa lalu? seperti. inginkan masa itu kembali di genggaman tangan.nak garapkan peluang yang ada. nak rakus dengan kejayaan yang tersedia. seolah. kebolehan tu baru ditemui. banyaklah persoalan 'alangkah' ataupun 'kalaulah' yang terdetik di fikiran minda.
pernah tak rasa nak redah semua halangan? macam. tak kisahlah lautan api atau liar rimba. gunung ganang atau lurah terdalam. buat dek je. nak tempuh segala.semangat dah berkobar dah ni. bagilah hujan paling lebat di planet ni atau kemarau paling panas di semesta ni. takkan pandang belakang dah. sebab selama ni, peluang lampau terbazir macam tu je.
pernah tak rasa nak betulkan kesilapan lalu? memang masa tak boleh diputar kembali. tapi rasa macam nak naik time machine macam dlm movie, pastu betulkan semua yang boleh di repair.tak salah kot. tapi lawan hukum tuhan la kot.
pernah tak rasa terkilan tengok orang lain berjaya? seolah dunia ni asik nak tengok diri kalah. semalam hari kau. hari ni hari kau. esok pun hari kau. hari-hari, hari kau. ntah bila hari aku ntah. bosan dah. rasa macam takdir dah tulis diri memang loser without expiry date.
pernah tak rasa diri ni tak berguna? tiap-tiap malam lepak kedai mamak. sembang kopi. pegi ronda sana lepak sini merempat nun jauh. hobi harian la kot. balik rumah lewat nyusahkan mak bapak.ntah la apsal. dah la time malam buang masa, time pagi tido selama mana. bila orang tegur dia kata, "baru ada life beb". ceh.
aku bukan nak exclude atau include sesapa pun dalam examples kat atas. hidup aku pun ada gak kena mengena dengan contoh tu. cuma. pernah tak nak ada impian dalam hidup? pernah tak nak maju ke depan se langkah? nak tak rasa manisan kejayaan? penah ke rasa? yang penting sekarang, nak ke? aku rasa kalau hidup tak nyusahkan orang pun dah cukup. tapi fikir balik, hidup sekadar 'memadai' tu tak cukup kot untuk aku. buat ape hidup taraf second hand bila tuhan dah bagi peluang untuk go to the next extent, to the next level, sedangkan diri sendiri yang taknak. orang selalu je tanya aku, "buat apa masuk tempat susah2, jauh2, sedang kan ada tempat yang senang belajar, dekat2?". lol. believe me, hidup tanpa cabaran simbol kebosanan semesta. sampai bila nak hidup dalam takuk yang sama? sampai bila nak baring dalam gelanggang kosong? daripada tengok belakang, kira hutang lama, layan sesalan lampau, lebih baik realitikan impian esok hari. aku pun manusia biasa. tak lari dari salah silap. banyak kali je mengalami proses procrastination. lol. a mistake a day keeps failure away. don't run from it. treasure it. and mungkin boleh tengok balik kot kamus hidup; apa tujuan hidup? lol. later.
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