kenape saye lame hilang (rants and random opinions)
sebab saye kat toronto. ha. ok lawak kapow.
but seriously, i've been superbly busy. all the free time that i've got was weekends. and that would be, from 9pm to 2am, strictly saturday. i would chill, watch movies, go to the cinema, eat sushi, or whatever that would stay me away from books and notes. the reason is, when you study six to seven hours straight, you will have this sensational feeling in your brain. then, it recuperates with a feeling of animosity towards what's these knowledge have to do with your freaking future? then, your brain will slowly boil and melts like a cotton candy stickin on your tongue..and you would wanna lick it...like...lick it so hard...like..like....
But my point is, my brain will go fully functional over a lengthy concentration span if i can get the right niat (pronounced 'niah' as what the sheikhs pronounced). and at the end of the day. after all those works. after all those all nighters. after all those memancing (this would be penahanan diri untuk sedar and fokus dalam lecture tapi tersengguk jugak). after all those wars waged. after all those sacrifices. I wouldn't care less about my results. because i did it. i did the leap of faith. and you were gonna say 'what?'. cuz i'm gonna say; yeah, ooo yeah
p/s: i'm getting more wackier everyday.due to excessive knowledge input.but yeah, i tend to dream. you know what? i wanna build an empire.
bila fikir
bila fikir...macamana nak tahu..yang..kita fikir tu...mengikut kehendak atau kemahuan semua orang...dan...decide..untuk..future yang menyebelahi semua pihak...fikir tentang kemahuan diri sahaja mungkin tak cukup untuk menjadi lebih baik....tapi jika khayalan jiwa sebab terlampau mahu mengikut ego dan kata hati sendiri...itu dah selfish? atau mungkin dia saja yang betul...ah aku taktau.
on blogging and milan
milan told me that i think of stuff too hard. and sometimes, i get silly.like, really silly.maybe i should just ease off.oh this is more tiring than watching inception 10 times
my rants(on myself). okay if you don't wanna hear it go away. because it doesn't really make sense (to some people).
So I thought that life was simple and friends(some of them. okay maybe one of them) were regular companions but I was wrong, in a way. I have these stupid bullshit feelings that I know, think, feel or perceive that I should not have. Oh God please endure these feelings for me because, I hate to like it. I really do. It is sooo so wrong. Thats what you get from spending time with the wrong (well not really wrong, but..oh god) person. Okay maybe not that far. that is too far. I don't mean that. What I really mean that we all should control our feelings. But sometimes, its uncontrollable. Ugh okay let me put this clearly. I Suck. That is all. I suck because I should not have this feelings. I should have controlled it in a way that it would not even exist. Because? It is wrong wrong wrong. Oh okay stop denying the fact that you still have those, nauseating, feelings. Okay maybe the devil spoke to me and i insist (by accident). Okay, and so I have another friend and he told me (figuratively), "DUDE it is aaa-oookay to have those feelings". And I was like, "Dude are you mad?". Okay so this is so so so not cool having the fact that I tried my best to let go things that should have been let go of. Let bygones be bygones. And what's with these, shitty, feelings that I feel that I'm better and I deserve it? Well no you don't. That's not up to you. That's God's work. Oh that is ungrateful. Pure suckness. Hey you know what, you (pointing to myself) should wake up and realize that God made life His way and we should foreseen the hikmah of everything that lies in the path. Okay okay stop that. pack up. you're going camping. Pfffffffffffffffffftttttttt
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