Allah! Forgive Me!

I'm so blind
I mean. Why didn't I foreseen this?
I should have known. 
The world is so twisted with hypocritical words 
Spread like swarm of bees with magnitudes of an earthquake
I surrender to you Lord but I'm so afraid if I'll be surrendered by the world
when ignorance eat my heart out and people keep asking me things
I'm not here to please people. I'm here to please God
So please! help me out man
I can't get out of this world alone
Ride along with me for the journey to Jannah
The world is just a game made by God
To test our credibility and yet are we qualify enough to meet Him. 
Heaven has a huge price. 
I'm not sure I can pay with my money in my pocket
Oh and my cash book has a bad ending
But all I have is my tiny whiny good deeds
So, I'm here. Prostrating to you. Pondering. Wondering. Thinking. Imploring. I need your mercy Allah!
"Oh people, repent to Allah, for indeed, I repent to Allah 100 times every day"
[Muslim : 2702]
Ibn Mas'ud narrated that the Prophet said:
“Indeed, Allah is more happy with the repentance of His slave than a man who stops in a barren, desolate land; with him he has his riding animal. He then goes to sleep. When he wakes up, [he realizes that] his mount is gone. He searches for it until he is on the verge of dying. He then says, ‘I will return to the place wherein I lost it, and I will die there.’ He went to that place, and he was then overcome by sleep. When he woke up, his mount was [standing] right beside his head: on it was his food, his drink, his provisions, and the things he neded. Allah is more happy with the repentance of his believing slave than the aforementioned man when he finds his mount and his provisions.”
[al-Bukhaari: 6308 ; Muslim: 2744]
p/s: has nothing to do with my academic nor personal problem. I'm fine. Just that I need to be aware I'm living in a state where challenges and tests are gonna get me

mencari diri sendiri (konflik dalaman oh!)

"Buat yg termampu Acap. jika kita tak dapat apa yg kita mahu, bukan bererti kita gagal. Org yg gagal ialah org yg tak sedar ia gagal dan tak mengaku ia gagal. Jika kita sedar dan berusaha membaikinya maknanya kita org yg berjaya." - A Rahman Safar, 2011